December 2008

I met with a good friend/mentor today for a marathon session about what-ails-Ashley.  The economy came up as it relates to professional next steps.  He asked me what I was afraid of.  I said, among other things, “security.”  He responded by quoting Helen Keller:

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature…. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

For a mere $9, I am declaring myself the winner of best Christmas gift given.

I went to see an iMax movie at the Louisville Science Center last week and stopped in the gift shop on the way out.  There, I found diseases.  That’s right, Polio, ulcers, chickenpox, and more.  I grabbed some Salmonella for my uncle Jim to put in his stocking.  It seemed fitting since he actually had Salmonella poisoning this year.  He got a big kick out of it, and then took his traditional Christmas nap (Salmonella is exhausting you know).

Finally, I have arisen from my Christmas funk.  Nat King Cole is singing “Merry Christmas to you me” and the decorations have been drug (that’s Kentucky-speak for “dragged”) out of the basement.  I didn’t get a tree this year, but that didn’t stop me.  Six nails, two strands of lights, and one doorway did the job.

I was downstairs yesterday in the LVAA gallery prepping for a group of girls from Maryhurst who were coming to see the Rob Shetterly Americans Who Tell the Truth exhibit. I was working my way through Shetterly’s paintings, reading each bio so that I could intelligently speak to the girls, when the painting above of Rev Cecil Williams deflated my latest gripe like a popped balloon.

The pace of 08 and overwhelming volume of its rapid fire events has stressed me out a bit, but the quote in this painting put it in perspective,

“Death isn’t the greatest thing to be feared for it homogenizes everyone, makes us all equally dead.

Most folks are afraid of living because abundant life requires risking everything to love, liberate, and accept yourself and others now. People are afraid of life for it creates diversity and requires commitment to action. To live is to struggle.”

Right on! So what if my stress is shaving years off my life like a smoking habit? I’ll die at the end of one hell of an accomplished existence that will leave those who played it safe wondering, “What was I waiting for?”

For the second time in a month, I have read about research that measures the effect peoples’ mood have on others. Apparently, a happy person’s joy tends to have far more of a lasting impact than someone’s funk. I first read about this in the Tipping Point. Author Malcolm Gladwell (fitting last name huh?) cited research that showed happiness trumps sadness in terms of its “stickiness factor,” or ability to have an impact that is staying and will influence behavior. Sadness on the other hand, does not really stick.

Then this morning, a friend sent me a link to a Live Science article, which further verifies the power of contagious happiness. The article states,

The researchers analyzed data compiled from nearly 5,000 interconnected people over a 20-year period. After establishing a baseline mood for each participant, the team found that when one person became happier, it rippled through the network, increasing the likelihood that others would become happier too.

So don’t waste your time looking for people to wallow in your sadness with you; apparently they aren’t likely adapt to your mood. Feeling down? Go hang out with people who have smiles on their faces; they’ll bring you up a few notches on the mood meter AND it should stick. It definitely worked for me when I was hanging out with teens (like the girl above) at a recent Youth Alive retreat. I’m sure without even being aware of it, I was smiling just looking at this girl while taking her photo.